As I’m Told…

Do as I’m told, learn as I’m told, feel as I’m told.

Never been easy for this guy.

I have a rebellious streak that runs deep and has been there as long as I can remember, and for the years I forgot my mother was pretty good at reminding me.

If you tell me to do something, odds are I won’t. If you tell me I’ll love a band, even if you and I like the same music – I won’t listen to them for years.

Same for movies, authors, or what to do with my life. Start a sentence with “You should…” and just know that behind my patient smile is a man not punching you in the face very much on purpose. I can’t help it. I’m just that kind of an asshole.

I’m not proud or ashamed of this. It is just who I am. The trick is to notice it and grow regardless.

When someone asks me a question however- it’s a whole new story. Suddenly I feel free. I become curious. I might even be moved. There have been questions posed to me that rocked my very world. Had they been spoken as commands, I wouldn’t have felt the invitation.

Living in Rome you get told to do a lot of things. On one hand it’s a total police state, but the good news is that they are more like Keystone Cops (look it up). I go to school with a thousand men and women who’ve taken a vow of obedience, something that make me want to throw up. (The vow, not the students.)

So when I tell you that I live my Life in surrender, and listen close for instructions, invitations, possibilities, and direction – know that I don’t take it lightly. I take great care in selecting the men and women I ask for counsel. I am a man who is happy to serve, and thrilled to have a boss I admire. Being my own boss gets me fired anyway.

Many of you are the same. I know because you’ve told me.

Today I don’t have great answers. I have questions. Lots of them. And the solutions take time, collaboration, and creativity. I’m learning to relax my rebellious inner child, because some invitations don’t get printed on my favorite colored paper. Some opportunities are too great to give a shit about my difficult nature. They just show up whether I’ve grown up, or not.

So you can take this for what’s it may be worth to you.

Maybe it helps, maybe it’s a dud. I really don’t know.

I just feel wiped out after this second year at school, and find my brains as scrambled as my eggs. Which is fine because all we really care about is the bacon anyway.

I’ve been writing this blog now for almost 4 years. I only, only, only started it because I was told to. Practically ordered to. I remind myself of the mountain of badass things I have created after somebody pissed me off and told me that I had to. Maybe I would be served to remind myself of that a bit more. Writing changed my life. More than you know.

No witty rap up today, or clever ending.

Just a question,

Did you ask for answers? Did you express questions? Are you listening as if your Life depends on it?

Have an amazing day being amazed.


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